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Her Dying Wish
It's a Hard Knock Life
What You Gave To Me
 

It's a Hard Knock Life

It’s a hard knock life
Life, messing up, it’s only a matter of time
Life, growing weak, I wish this life wasn’t mine.
Pops was never around,
Never there to help stand my ground.
Mom’s just left without saying a thing,
Neva' stayed to give me the time, the day.
My grandma, may she rest in peace.
Was the only one to welcome me with an open hand.
Now deceased, I’ll never be able to feel her warmth again.
That is until my aunt stepped into my life.
Now she was there to catch me when I fell down.
Now she was there to help me when my life went crashing on.
But it doesn’t seem that way anymore.
My dad was suppose to pay child support but my aunt aint seen a penny of it.
It’s real sad 'cuz we a family of 6 living on a once a month budget.
My friends trying to take their own life because they aint happy
Getting tight 'cuz their parents won’t let them stay past night
Well, guess what, I got a 3:00 afternoon curfew and I ain’t eva' put up a fight.
I know it’s for better 'cuz my aunt’s always right.
Rich people always grillen' 'cuz I aint eva' seen the better life they be liven'.
I aint wealthy but I’m healthy and I thank god I’m still liven.
I look in the mirror everyday just to see a girl trying to fast to become a woman,
Trying to fast to find where she belongs,
Trying to fast to find out when the path she took went wrong.
So, I’m sitting hear thinking I’m the only one who got it bad and my aunt tells me there’s always people who have it worse.
Those are the people liven in the streets, liven days, even weeks, knees growing weak
Searching through the trash to find something to eat.
Those are the people who need welcoming hands, not me.
But when I really think of it,
Those are also the people who choose that life who choose those mistakes,
Mistakes I don’t ever want to make.
My decisions start now. I’ll never think it’s to late.
But maybe I should stop thinking and get my lazy ass up to date.
Now I’m not a grown woman or a young girl, but I am a teenager struggling in a screwed up world just trying to be “4-real”.
Writing is the only reason I got to live and express myself
So I’m staying to do what I do best
Which is the poetry in my life that will never be put to rest.
The poetry’s just there to let out the hurt without a tear,
Without a laugh,
Without time
With just a pen, words on paper, and my life as one big rhyme.

Her Dying Wish

She asked to be disintegrated across the deep blue sea
In her eyes, her dying wish I could see
I didn't like the idea at first
My feelings just wanted to burst
She turns her head and gets real cold
I get up and walk away because she's going to leave now
Her wish has already been told
As I leave, I see a glimpse of a smile from here to Alabama
I turn around full and say thank-you Grandma
I tell her you are my ground
If disintegrate is to be your wish then I will not underestimate the truth
But please just wait a few seconds
I'm not yet ready to let go
I'm too young to understand but I know
I know
I realize I need to say good-bye
Keep my head up straight and that it's ok to cry
That's my touching speech
I hope
Just hope that it reached
So good-bye and just remember
Your heart remains on my hand forever
Let me lift you over the sea
Leaving one set of footprints just from me
I LOVE YOU

What You Gave To Me

You helped me up when eva' I fell down
When I needed someone to lean on, you always seemed to be around
You gave me voice when I couldn't speak
You gave me sight when I couldn't see
You carried my tears for all these years
You held my pain from all the fears
You lifted me up when I couldn't reach
Even though you're not a teacher
You taught me to teach
You gave me thought when I couldn't think
you spared me air when I couldn't breathe
You gave me life when I couldn't live
You gave it all that you could give
You me hope, faith and charity
When I felt there was nothing else I could do
Without a doubt I know I could never stop loving you
Because of you and all that you gave to me
I appreciate my gift and I will use it to tell it all
How my dedicated mom helped me get this far!

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